Absolutely, yes! And what is to be noted is that the Scripture says, “in the Lord”. That is a clause most leave out, and to their own detriment.
Being in the care and security of a man who loves you as Christ loves the Church is a wonderful thing. It’s very liberating. The problem is, both men and women have such a derogatory interpretation of submission that they don’t truly understand what it means, or why it’s so biblically important. Men use it as a means to manipulate or control, and women fear the subsequent abuse and loss of their independence and dignity. Submission is not so much an issue of control as it is liberation. It’s not an issue of independence as it much as it is an issue of honor and security.
The problem is men misunderstand this principle just as much as women do. Both parties are at fault. Men fail to lead appropriately, and therefore women fail to submit appropriately. Therefore in most cases, proper submission on the part of the wife will be dependent upon the husband’s ability to properly lead her. He is the head of the home who establishes that pattern.
Christ is our example. A loving husband leads, guides, protects and provides even as Christ does. This is about liberty — not control. This is all motivated by love, not power. When you love someone you set them at liberty. Love does not breed contention for control. A loving husband does not control, intimidate, manipulate or abuse – and neither does a loving wife who honors her husband.
Let it be known that God is the ultimate authority over any believer’s life, whether married or not. If the husband is not making decisions in the Lord, or if he is making decisions contrary to the Word of God, the wife has an obligation to correct him in pointing her husband back to God, and she is under no obligation to submit. Instead, her obligation is to encourage, support, correct, and admonish. That’s our job as wives. We keep our husbands accountable. We are helpers. We are not doormats. We are not panderers. And if abuse is taking place, the woman needs to remove herself with respect for her own life, because she first belongs to the Lord. Christ is her husband above any man.
As wives, our position is that of support. We provide backup. We were given by God to do our husbands good, to help, to support, and to bring them a measure of rest and ease in life by assuming our own roles with appropriate authority so they can focus on their own. I believe we have an obligation to bring correction when it is appropriate, and it should be done with humility, love, honor, and respect, and it should be done in truth.
I do believe a loving husband who is wise will always hearken to his wife’s counsel and take it before God with her in prayer. He will sincerely value her input and opinion. He will value her expertise, her skill, her intelligence, and her life experience.
In closing, I will say that a loving husband who honors the Lord, as well as his wife, is one who will always have his wife’s adoration, respect, honor and love. That love and mutual respect will win her heart every time. Submission for that wife will be easy, and she will do it happily because she trusts him. A loving wife will always push her husband toward a deeper intimacy with Christ. A loving husband will find his wife to be his greatest ally. And building a relationship with Christ together as a married couple, and not merely as individuals, is key for any healthy marriage. When that can happen together, things fall in place readily.
Men who lead biblically are motivated by love. They lead, guide, protect and provide as Christ does for His Church. Such men will find their wives more than willing to submit. In fact, they will find their wives taking shelter in them as Christ intended. They will be a safe place of security, warmth, and affirmation, setting her free to be the woman God intended. Such men will find their wives to be their greatest and fiercest ally. They will cheer them on with the honor, love, and respect they deserve.
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